©2016 by Raymond Alexander Kukkee [caption id="attachment_3363" align="alignnone" width="640"] Real Time  is Broken in Trudeau's Folly....[/caption]

Trudeau's Folly:  Now Playing at #Elbowgate

Trudeau's Folly,  a political *performance, recently opened in Ottawa...starring J. Trudeau at #Elbowgate

 

The Lonely Critic's Preview & Notes:

Political junkies suggested that  in Trudeau's Folly,  Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his Liberal majority  were  elected by a captive audience in a typically-Canadian  peaceful revolution. Real life mimics the action in Trudeau's Folly...

Potential  disaster  lurks in the   investigation-worthy and nefarious spending proclivities of villainous Senators Duffy, Wallin, and Brazeau.   (Conservative actors all)  The  arrogance of  unbelievable spending, misappropriated funds,  rhetorical    Harperesque denials of any knowledge of a questionable  payments, RCMP investigations and charges  under way, and the sell-off of Canada all contribute to the action in this barn-burner...

Soundly tossed from centre stage  of the opening political scene was  actor Harper & a dancing monkey, a wheezing accordion, and assorted  collections of wind-up chattering teeth.  Conservatives disappear silently into the wings. Protests fade...tickets  are selling fast...

 Official opposition actor AngryTom  is enjoying an unprecedented high in  paper polls as the presumed-lead and star of the show — until he carelessly demonstrates his secret penchant for  destroying open-faced, essential values  including the sacrifice of security and the ability and desire of all theatre-goers to clearly see the identities of  unknown actors, whining, masked foreign individuals and others bearing wheezing accordions.

Insiders suggest that like the not-so-brilliant villain in grim fairy tales,  Angry Tom  chooses to  pretend the ugly #niquabdebate  mask  somehow magically constitutes a 'genuine'  issue of  'freedom of dress' choices for women.

 Liberal directors jumped at the chance to manipulate  the stupidity and pile politically-correct critics high enough to steal the show.

*Tilly Tall, our colleague and an outstanding political critic,  summed it up nicely..."

High drama sets the  stage  for Trudeau's Folly, an expensive, chintzy  three-act play now running aimlessly in Ottawa  for four years. 

Which part of  this same old, boring premise is so hard  to understand?   Liberal critics everywhere celebrate Tom's  subsequent artistic crash, if only because it confirmed that bad acting and the mistake of ignoring established, beloved theatrical traditions of Canadians and playing an angry hypocrite without balls  is not a winning theatrical career strategy in Canada.

Enterprising Liberals quickly repainted the set overnight and  grabbed all of the best parts and costumes, sensing on-stage hypocrisy and a potential rewrite of the script.  They were right; angry Tom was quietly reduced to a one-line bit part, that of pretending he doesn't know what happened.   *Harper's Folly is the most  expensive and predictable play ever produced in Ottawa....so eat your heart out, Stratford...

*Directed by Jean the Choker."

Trudeau's Folly, Act I

The opening curtain  is late, but not a stunning revelation.   ( Opportunistic Liberal manipulators  play it cool, follow  critic Tilly's recommendations, and take advantage of the less-than-astute, bad-acting opposition. ) To glorious strains of screechy bagpipes, Canadians elect "Shirtless Sunny-ways Justin the Boy"  played by a young, inexperienced Liberal actor named Trudeau, like it or not... complete with scrawny  exhibitionist 6-pack,  red boxing gloves and nice hair...

The  staged action on the stage (get it?)  begins to move along predictably; hugs and pats on the back  are in order, yada-yada... The  inexperienced, grinning equal-gender-nation-blender  Liberal-acting majority  is  cheerily installed  onstage in anticipation of endless sunny ways.  Justin, the star, a  ga-ga  narcissist with nice hair,  pans gritty, all-knowing smiles of youthful wisdom to cameras at every pause. At every photo op, groupies are impressed with the new star, prime ministerial *qualifications...and all...

*The excited groupie audience knows Justin is qualified with absolutely nothing everything required to be a good prime ministerial actor;  he is young,  ga-ga  cool  with nice hair, he was a teacher once upon a time,  he married a cute chick, he has red boxing gloves, and does his own stunts. He is eager to punch challengers, and he can grin  like a Cheshire cat as he does shirtless push-ups to show off.   He also conveniently happens to be the  naive  but wealthy offspring of  the late, and distinguished Mr.  fuddle-duddle Pierre of the same name who mastered  political ga-ga acting with a trench-coat, manipulating and warping forever the social fabric of theatres everywhere...

The curtain drops, the crowd rushes out for  timely beer and pizza. Some loiter in the lobby, and order in the Big-Burp-2-topping  political theatre special, the  'say-cheese '& baloney kind...

Conveniently surrounded by giddy groupies lobbying in the lobby,  Justin, the new Trudeau-  like a good actor, never hesitates to take *selfies with  teens, old ladies,  premiers or world leaders alike.

(*Selfies, the ultimate political weapon in social media and Hollywood,  provide victims with instantaneous warm and fuzzy proof of momentary fame as a ga-ga plastic action hero sidekick with one click. Apparently there's a groupie  wannabe a  plastic hero sidekick  sucker born every minute... )

*Political difficulties on stage right?  Take a selfie. Foreign dignitaries sneaking in behind the curtain for secret deals? Take a selfie.  Major economic or national disasters during the  honeymoon?  Take a selfie. In political acting, select photo ops abound;  tragic fires,  meetings to legalize pot or legislate assisted  euthanasia, no matter, let's take a selfie , grin  and wink, action figures  always know what's best for everyone.   After all,  it IS  a genuine, gender-homogenized, gender-equalized, gender-neutralized  Liberal-2016  3-act play,  is it not? 

 

Trudeau's Folly, Act II

Optimism and chatter;  joy still reigns in the land, the future is here....The bell rings, and audience returns, burping the -ever-popular gender-neutral baloney and beer,  whispers, and hushes.

The curtain rises to higher expectations in this act;  Canadians  promised  new, sunny-ways Liberal production,  after all, will not be ruled by dictators or tired, hack actors...Suspense grows... the savoury odour of corruption  wafting from the  upper gallery is pervasive.   In the opening lines, our hero boldly promises to pump fresh air into the upper chamber Napping Room or install a pine air freshener, whichever costs less...The audience claps enthusiastically...

Sleepy, unethical,  'P.M.-appointed' actors Duffy the 'Innocent', Wallin the Traveler, and Brazeau, the unidentifiable disaster awaken  in the balcony and cheer wildly as bad actor Duffy is judged innocent...

The audience whispers speculation if Duffy-esque   Judgements of Innocence from Liberal judge actors  and the script itself has been influenced more by hate for evil  actor Harper,  or  sympathy  for his tossed-under-the-bus appointee-victims. 

*Either way, with written-in-rubber -feel-free-to-do-as-you-wish-and all-you-can-get-away-with declarations in the new script,  offerings of  'the old Duff precedent'  in future lawsuits and theatrical productions are completely predictable...

 *Enraged theatre-goers want the senate abolished as a redundant , expensive fossil...Senate-actors boo and jeer, suggesting that rubber bands will make Pterodactyl fossils relevant and soar like honourable  Canadian geese. No change in script is contemplated.... The audience rumbles and twitters...

Interlude:

Waiting offstage are unseen pizza-delivery boys, advisors and drooling directors;  Nobody is advised of the secret  climax...Behind the red curtains Director Jean the Choker whispers loudly in the darkness:

Psst...remember, Justin, like I  have tell you already, lose your cool, let go,  throw yourself  right into the action. Be yourself, like me...mais oui,   "Help" the  whip back to his seat, drag him along roughly,  give him  the  old 'fuddle-duddle' in the ear too, it's a nice classic touch, and mais oui,  show them your  anger and inexperience, prove you are the ultimate actor and boss of everything. Protocol is not in the script,  action is the proof is the proof is the proof!   And Justin, our old boys' club has  a revision for you,  a plan,   we decided it might be a nice touch if you  could push over  a few NDP  actors while you're at it, too, Justin, let's make one a woman for sure, yes, brilliant, yes, elbow her,  right in the old boobies,  Justin, you do that, yes, a nice touch,  oui ?...  And they will scream rape and misogyny and  abuse for sure, that will  be very dramatic,  it will make Angry Tom to jump around and take the bait, for sure,  it will make him look stupid again...won't that be entertaining? #Elbowgate will jack up ratings for  Trudeau's Folly,  so clear the benches for a big brawl too,   be creative...

Trudeau's Folly continues...

The audience falls silent...unaware a dramatic act is about to take place;   Justin enters from stage left...grabs the Conservative whip, elbows a female member, right in the old boobies as instructed,  the crowd roars...Hot-headed, immaturity  and seemingly bad acting by our hero riles the audience and exposes the nature of the beast. Angry Tom roars...collusion behind a collision...

The astute audience gasps, bellowing outrage,  ..." Mr. Speaker! " They shout, "Booo! "What is our hero doing?  Where is  his cape and red boxing gloves?  Why is he wearing clothing? Why is our hero not doing push-ups?  Outrage ensues...

The director calls the actor and whispers...

Psst...Perfect job, Justin... never mind those hecklers or tradition — it is my job, it is the Director's  job to make Trudeau's Folly an exciting Liberal play!    —Now you must apologize like a Liberal,  too, be politically-correct like I tell  you!  The secret to Liberal acting is to play well with others,  be trendy but  contrite,  and look at the floor,  so now you  go centre-stage, say it was inappropriate, pretend you are guilty and taking responsibility,  say it over and over like I always do, 'the proof is the proof is the proof ', —if you tell them three times,  the audience  will believe you,  fake or not, the stupid people expect trendy Liberal entertainment, we must give them what they deserve...

The mirror  in the trendy gender-blender washroom  down the hall cracks ominously. 

 

The star of Trudeau's Folly  a.k.a. #Elbowgate,  strides magnificently to center stage , bows and winks  offstage at the director...lights are turned low as the young Canadian Prime Minister performs the final act, apologizing profusely three  times,  and bows sheepishly,  practicing for the Trip of a Thousand Selfies, a newly-planned  escape to Japan.  Muted clapping, a few jeers...

The curtain drops...the audience is blinded as the house lights are turned on high...

 

  ***Out in the lobby,  grinning, gritty plastic selfies are snapped, printed and signed by the new star.  A squawky bullhorn out on the street blasts  "Get your signed Ga-ga Hero Plastic Action figure with nice hair here, only $149.95,  matching Liberal red boxing gloves, red tights,  and other Liberal  #elbowgate action figure accessories are sold separately..."

 

***Behind the red curtains, Director Jean the Choker shrugs, smiling, and winks at his drooling cronies  Herb, Ralph, and John as he whispers into his cell phone:

" Psssst.....Jean here....See? What did we tell  you,  Stephen? ...No worry—it works, our plan for Canada is safe, he follows instructions like old fuddle-duddle;  what did I tell you, the proof is the proof is the proof;   we send him to Japan now, when he gets back we can  train him to  choke  homeless NDP protesters  too,  it works for me...and say, —by the way, Stephen, we were thinking, would you like to be appointed to the  Senate too?  There's a big change, the biggest change in years, you'll like it,  we're getting a new pine air freshener installed in the upper house...

#

Is that Incoming I hear?

  ©photo by R.A. Kukkee All rights reserved