Category Archives: Humanity

Britain Tweets Fire

© 2014 by Raymond Alexander Kukkee [caption id="attachment_2849" align="aligncenter" width="600"]WhiteHouse Cake Courtesy of the British Embassy Cake Commemorating War of 1812 and burning of the White House[/caption]

Headline:    August 24th 1814.

The White House goes up in flames. Who did it?  You got it, the British. You know, wannabe Canadians.  Close to the end of the war of 1812. You know, that one.

Headline:    Aug. 24, 2014. 

    Brits chuckle and wink, bake a cake and share the good news on Twitter, commemorating the occasion.  ( a.k.a.  remembering the good times had by all out in the colonies in the good old days.)

 

Headline:  Yanks Not Amused when Britain Tweets Fire

Backfire? Let's check out paraphrase what really happened. Britain tweets fire....."Guess what, chaps, it's the 200th anniversary of the big marshmallow roast and campfire at the Whitehouse. We made a cake and everything, wanna' party?"

"We don't like that" the Americans reply huffily.  Very huffily. Extra Huffily.

"Oops..sorry, old chaps,  tut-tut,   we can't help it if there was no barbeque set out on the front lawn. C'mon, we had to have the roast somewhere, we dressed up nice and had a parade down Pennsylvania Ave. and everything, and your  President Madison saw fit to be out to lunch. What did 'ya expect?   The  White House caught fire in the process.....er..... you didn't really mind, did you?"  

"We don't like that"  Americans reply extra-extra huffily, 'it upsets our perfect record of invasions and war and stuff "  

  "er....I say, old chaps, pip-pip, I say,  don't get your stars and stripes shorts twisted too tightly, it's only a cake, quite innocent, I say, offered in glad tidings, you know....care for a cup of tea instead?"

The tweet reminding Americans of an international  parade down Pennsylvania Avenue and the burn-the-Whitehouse  incident stirs the ancient three-legged campfire pot.  The rising cloud of ashes and dust from 200 years ago upsets Yanks and threatens international flights worse than ash from Iceland's biggest volcano.

Who would have guessed that old history dredged up from two hundred years ago would upset folks?  Hot topics like Brits (a.k.a. wannabe Canadians) marching  down Pennsylvania  Avenue pleased as punch, all dressed nicely in red jackets and wanting to party, —but no President Madison there to welcome them? How cool is that for history between friends?

   "We don't like that."   the Yanks say, even extra-more huffily if that is possible, —and  looking from left to right,  bristling from collective heat rash.  

As Canadians we say, well, go figure. No sense of humor at all.

  Some would say it was just payback for the Americans trying to annex Upper Canada. Take that. 'Serves 'ya right for attacking and sacking Toronto  York.  The uninformed would say "'ya mean we did that?"  

Britain tweets fire and chuckles  because the old boys from the Pip-Pipper's club not only burned the Whitehouse, but occupied the capital too, and it seems by the sour response to that mischievously good-natured tweet and offering of cake,  should have just kept it too.  There, that oughta' do itPip-pip....

No matter. In hindsight,  what else would Canadians do?  Party hardy Light a campfire. Make the best of it.  In the middle of the White House floor.... Well, okay.   Use some nice dry furniture for firewood since it was probably raining outside?

......Well, um...okay, perhaps it wasn't really  necessary to burn the furniture.

We can't help it. We party hardy.  We're Canadians. psssst... notice the flags are  on the same cake?

Is that Incoming I hear?

Photo:   Courtesy British Embassy Ukin USA  
Posted in Humanity, Life, Politics | 4 Comments

Middle East Apocalypse Now

©2014 by Raymond Alexander Kukkee

[caption id="attachment_2801" align="aligncenter" width="400"]A missile launched A missile Launched      photo Public domain[/caption]  

Middle East Construction: The Predictable Road to Destruction

 

The Middle East is festering in boils  and burning.  Israel again has troops on the ground in Gaza in  a reciprocal attack on Hamas, who have been lobbing rockets into Israel from rocket launchers located in crowded civilian areas in Gaza  "when and as they wish." 

Like it or not,  Israel has chosen to defend itself by attacking. Children and innocent civilians are dying. With over 500 fatalities so far, there is no tangible sign of a cease fire or peace accord.

Are you surprised?  Why would anyone be surprised at an apocalypse now? 

What did world leaders really  expect as an outcome, when the State of Israel was magically created in 1948 by desperate political 'one-solution- fits all"  politicians over the objections of the Arab world?  Was it that then, as now,  we were 'desperate' to be seen to be 'doing something' ?

The Problem

Where Palestinians reportedly—note, reportedly, but let's allow clever historians, revisionists and others to battle  that out) had lived for centuries,  the plan for the formation of the State of Israel  was hatched a few years earlier,  a recommendation of the  Balfour Declaration (1917)  by The League of Nations and the Peel Commission (1936).   Undoubtedly, a collection of Brits, historians, learned and miscellaneous interested legal persons were involved in that historical decision.  We would guess  a few religious fanatics and the usual old boys and court jesters might have had some influence on the outcome. No matter.

Happy Hour

Let's tune in on a typical conversation during Happy hour down at the Old Bloke's  Club (1936) . Tinkling glasses, pipe tobacco smoke, maroon leather easy chairs and a crackling fire in Ye Great Fireplace.  Sounds good. )

"I say, old chap, I hear they're fighting over that bad potato-land, that hell-beaten pile of sand in Palestine, do tell?   "tch -tch  pip-pip, I hear  we are...er...still  somewhat obligated to ...er...solve the problem, aren't we..?"

"Do tell!   Listen, old chap, we should just get on with dividing it into two pieces of sand, like that chap Balfour recommended, that ought to do it."

"Pip-pip!  Double the trouble, if you ask me, old boy!  Have you ever ridden a camel?"

"Disgusting noisy creatures, no, but  no doubt, old man, but it's still  a jolly good idea, I say, a brilliant plan if I ever saw one! —I mean to form a state, not to ride a camel, that is....details can be worked out later, since  we command the sand  as they say,...er...yes, that plan would be most  brilliant, I say!  What ever could go wrong?  Ta-ta-for now old boy!"

Let us tune in once again to The Old Boy's Emporium  (still stubbornly called The Old Bloke's Club  by stiff upper-lipped loyalists)   a few years later  (1947)

"I say, old chap, did you see the latest in Palestine, the Arabs are restless again, attacking Jews and all, 'tis an unsavoury situation, isn't it?  Uncivilized, I say, we can't have that, let's invite a few of the best to the Emporium, old man, give them a tipple or three,  and get on with setting up a separate state for the Jews,  shall we,  —but only Israel shall be recognized as a state." "Genius, pure genius, old boy! Let's do it,  Israel it is!'

"er...you do know  that will be a guaranteed sore spot in that land of sand forever,  don't you, old man?"

"Of course, my good man, but it's a genuine desert, chaps, complete with  camels and donkeys, and hot-headed people running every which way—they won' t know the difference..... but then,,,,they do seem to be wanting  some organization, don't they?"

"Nevertheless, men, tut-tut ....we can civilize Palestine as we have all over the globe,  so  pip-pip, tally-ho, onward and upward, Israel it is, apocalypse or no! "

And so the story goes—and the proverbial lines were drawn in the ever-shifting sands of Palestine. The State of Israel was thereby planned in the  'traditional' territory called  Palestine , where it was fully well known and understood that Arabs were unable to play well with others unwilling to accept the division of territory and imposition of a separate state for the Jews.  Arabs would  understandably be forever angry at the  creation of an official  foreign state for Jewish "foreigners" arbitrarily plunked in the middle of their desert. No matter, hindsight is always perfect.   Palestine was divided in 1948. May 14th, 1948 to be exact, the day the door to hell and endless misery was invented and left unlockedlike it or not. David Ben-Gurion (reportedly Zionist, but let's not go there, either) became the first Prime Minister of the State of Israel. The desert bloomed and madness began to consume mind, soul, and sand. The fuse that was lit  has been burning more reliably than an Eternal Flame—Pre-apocalypse, that is.

Requiem for Humanity in Despair

In hindsight, "blame" and  "I told you so" and expressions of outrage don't quite cut it when children are dying, and thousands of rockets are flying both ways and the destruction of war is in full progress.  The infrastructure and future of an incredibly poor country is being destroyed, and there is no end in sight. In reality, there has never been peace, and from all appearances, never will be.   How totally predictable. How foolish.  The Middle East needs to be reinvented, but will we learn from history? 

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Is that Incoming I hear?

                   
Posted in Humanity, Major Issues, Politics | 2 Comments