Mayan Apocalypse: Ding-dong, You’re Wrong?




Well, another Apocalypse bites the dirt.

Like a few other failed efforts of dedicated prophets of doom have before them, the predictions of the end of the world by the Mayan calendar seem to have come to naught. We are still here. We think.

We, of course, –questioning everything as we tend to do here at Incoming Bytes, smiling happily as we mumble to ourselves and have coffee, -may not yet be totally convinced.  Please let me know if you have moved on to the next dimension.  Meantime, I’m writing a letter to George.This is on a                        ‘need-to-know’ basis.

Dear Mayan calendar-carver- predictor of all things worldly ending with a bang, can I call you George for short? 

George, don’t feel bad, I’ve made a few failed predictions myself. I haven’t even won the lottery yet, does that make you feel better?

George, the fact is, you handsome and helpful Mayan guys sure had nice head dress gear, neat masks and cool steppy pyramids. It must have been fun running around with spears, and I have to admit it was pretty smart developing corn-on-the-cob too.  Too bad your culture ended, we could use some of those culture-defining throw-the-head-down-the-stairs-and-cheer ceremonies to thin out the greedy, mindless control-freaks we have running the show today.

About the failed predictions,  the end of the world apocalypse and such,  hey, no big deal, everybody makes mistakes.  We are undoubtedly tempted to smile and say  “Ding-dong-you’re-wrong” –as the kids at school tend to say, giggling, laughing, and generally carrying on doing kid stuff. That would be childish though, don’t you think?

We would really like to know what you had in mind. Did you just run out of stones, get tired of carving rocks, or did you retire with full Mayan benefits?  Were you downsized and put out of production, or did technology, you know, the cheap production wheel, that round thing with the hole in the middle –make ordinary, round, fancy stuff out-dated?  Cheap production methods and all, you know the routine. Plain stuff is cheaper. Did they start outsourcing too?

George, being a writer and a  bit creative myself,  I could use a few hints on creating a nice Apocalyptic calendar with a twist too. I  really want to know, did someone write a sequel for you? Maybe a ghost-writer? Where is the manuscript stashed?  Is it round, too?   Was it supposed to be the other half of a matched set? Did ‘ya get ever get paid for carving that fancy stuff? How did you carve that thing anyway, with acid from plants, or the good old rock-chisel-bang-bang system?  I’m a DIY’er, I’d like to try that. 

Regardless, good job scaring the hell out of the world,  by the way, George,  you sure had a lot of people drinking and thinking we were going to be permanently snuffed like a silly and unsuspecting audience of a ‘Gong’ show or something.  Some people even had ‘end of the world’  parties and got apocalypse  hangovers. There was probably a lot of baby-making going on too.  The more logical types stayed home and kept our heads instead.  Good thing, but I digress.
So, George, what really is the story behind that fancy piece of work?  Was the prediction wrong, or was our interpretation simply incorrect?  Was that thing just prepaid  advertising for the big show at the steppy-pyramid?

I can’t wait to hear back from you, George.  You and your family have a good holiday meantime. There’s lots of time for us to figure this one out.

Yours Sincerely,                              


Is that Incoming I hear? 


About Raymond Alexander Kukkee

A published author and freelance writing professional, Raymond lives and writes in Northwestern Ontario.
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